Xiao Xiao was forced to leave her school at the age of 13. By the time she was 18, she had already done over 12 different jobs including waitress, cashier at an internet café, telemarketer, courier customer service rep just to make ends meet. But it would be a completely random message from an online friend that would turn the whole situation around.
“You are clever. Education is the right way for you. Consider adult education.“
And that was the whole point. There was no lengthy speech, no big plan—only several words from a Shanghai taxi driver, whom she never even met. But to Xiao Xiao, who had spent years scrapping by with no support, no family, and no hope, it was a spark.
The First Step: Self-Taught and Determined
Xiao Xiao, who had no guidance, still picked up research and located the self-study-exam as a way of getting her degree without leaving her job. She transitioned to study psychology at Peking University, one of the top universities in China. Why?
“I desired self-understanding,” she states. “Why did my family leave me? Why was the world so brutal?“
She toiled 9 to 5 in her day job, and then studied in the night at her small rented room, passing the textbooks word for word until her notes were even higher than her. Her co-workers laughed at her: “You will never make it.“
She passed her first four exams with flying colors.
The Hustle Never Stops
She was on her grind for four years, juggling different jobs in the customer service, headhunting, and office admin sectors, while at the same time she was able to pass her exams. She was also involved in online study groups for adult learners, where they exchanged tips. The majority couldn’t keep up with it and left, whereas she never gave up.
“I wasn’t just aiming to get by,” she states. “I looked forward to getting top scores.”
Her degree was in the bag before she was 22 years old. It was then that she set her sight on a master’s degree.
The Imposter Syndrome Made Her Suffer Intensely
Once at the Hong Kong Polytechnic University, with a milieu of rich classmates—children with a history of traveling, speaking many languages, and who wore confidence like an accessory—Xiao Xiao seemed an outsider.
“All they did was talk about art, surfing in Spain, skiing in the Alps… I had nothing to contribute,” she avows.
In addition, she was in high heels every day. If she had a downfall, her worn-out face would reveal this. She was convinced that the others would see her as the “poor dropout.” Gradually, she realized that the number was wrong. Not a single person cared.
A Russian companion danced openly at a public place. A friend made fun of her broken English. A professor descended to the student’s level to talk to her.
“They were not judging. I was judging myself,” she explains.
The Turning Point
She began expressing her history—the times she was scammed, the nights she had no food, the time she asked the police for bus fare. Contrary to pity, her classmates were intrigued.
“Your life is crazy, ” they told her.
When she graduated, she already had shoes of steel swapped for sneakers. She was no longer afraid to show herself.
She is now a doctorate student and her story is not just the victory over the difficulties but also the rewriting of the odds.
“I wanted to and I did hide my past,” she reminisces. “Presently, I am aware that it is my superpower.”
What she got from her experience:
- A small effort could change everything. (A random taxi driver, thank you.)
- Be around those who support your growth. (A study group, even an online one, is okay.)
- You are not your history. (Though it can be your rocket fuel.)
Need to know more? Get her book, The Girl Who Kept Rising. Hint: She is still going strong.
