TL;DR: My drunk uncle kicked my dog during a family dinner after lecturing me about being single at 25. I called the cops and he got arrested. No regrets.
So this happened two years ago, but I still get messages asking for the full story, so here goes.
Picture this: New Year’s Eve, 2022. I’m 25, living at home while studying for the bar exam (yeah, I know, peak millennial struggle). My parents decided to host our extended family for dinner, which should have been my first red flag.
The Setup
By 8 PM, we’d been “celebrating” since 5. The men were hammered, the women were gossiping, and I was hiding in my room trying to study. I’d recently adopted this adorable rescue puppy named Luna with my own money – money I’d been saving for months from my part-time tutoring gig.
My mom had been passive-aggressively complaining all day: “I’m basically Luna’s full-time nanny, picking up poop, cooking for everyone, cleaning…” Meanwhile, my dad was glued to his phone, completely checked out.
Enter: Uncle Mike
Uncle Mike is that relative we all have – the one who peaked in high school and now thinks he’s qualified to give life advice after a few beers. This man has been job-hopping for years and still asks my mom for money, but somehow thinks he’s in a position to lecture anyone.
The commentary started innocently enough, but then he really got going:
“Maya, get out here! Stop hiding in your room.”
I ignored him. Big mistake.
“You know what your problem is, Maya?” he shouted from the living room. “You’re 25 and still single. In my day, girls your age were already married with kids!”
Then came the real kicker: “If you want to land a decent guy, you better hurry up. Your market value is only going down from here. I know this guy who installs HVAC systems – makes good money. Want me to set you up?”
MARKET VALUE. This man really just said “market value” about me like I’m a used car.
The Point of No Return
I couldn’t help myself. I shouted from my room: “What a fucking psycho!”
“Are you talking about me?” Uncle Mike yelled back.
“Oh no,” I said sweetly, “I was just watching this documentary about serial killers. Weird coincidence though!”
That’s when he lost it. He stumbled toward my room, tried to grab my headphones, and when that didn’t work, he shoved me.
My dad finally intervened and dragged Uncle Mike back to the living room. I thought it was over.
Then I heard Luna yelp.
The Last Straw
I ran out to find Luna cowering in the corner, clearly hurt. Everyone was acting like nothing happened.
“What did you do to my dog?” I demanded.
Silence.
My mom tried to play it off: “Luna just got startled, honey. Come on, go back to your room.”
But I knew better. “Someone hurt her. Who was it?”
More silence, until Uncle Mike – drunk off his ass – decided to own up to it with pride: “Yeah, I kicked the little rat! What are you gonna do about it?”
The Nuclear Option
I looked around the room. My parents avoiding eye contact. My relatives acting like this was normal. Everyone expecting me to just… take it.
So I did what any reasonable person would do.
I called 911.
“Hi, I’d like to report animal abuse.”
The Aftermath
You guys, the CHAOS that ensued. My mom started crying about how I was “tearing the family apart.” Uncle Mike sobered up real quick when the cops showed up. My dad kept smoking and pretending this wasn’t happening.
The officers were actually pretty cool about it. They took statements, documented Luna’s injuries, and when Uncle Mike kept insisting “it’s just a dog,” they calmly explained that pets are considered property and kicking someone’s dog is destruction of property.
My mom tried to get them to leave: “She’s just upset, officers. Kids say things when they’re angry.”
But I’m 25. I’m not a kid. And I meant every word.
The Reckoning
Three days later, I got Luna’s vet bills: $1,200 for bruised ribs and soft tissue damage.
My mom begged me to drop the charges. “He’s family, Maya! This is embarrassing!”
The prosecutor offered mediation. Uncle Mike and my mom were all for it – probably figured they could guilt me into backing down.
At first, I asked for $10,000 (hey, aim high, right?). The prosecutor laughed and told me to be realistic. So I settled on $3,000.
But then my mom made the fatal mistake of saying, “Fine, I’LL pay the $3,000 since my brother apparently can’t afford to clean up his own messes.”
Wait. Hold up.
So Uncle Mike kicks MY dog, and my MOM has to pay for it? That’s not justice – that’s just financial abuse with extra steps.
“Actually, forget the mediation,” I told them. “Press charges.”
Justice Served
Uncle Mike got 7 days in county jail for destruction of property.
My family didn’t speak to me for months. Extended relatives called me “dramatic” and “vindictive.” Some people said I should have just “let it go” because “family is family.”
But you know what? I sleep great at night. Luna is fully recovered and living her best life. And Uncle Mike has never set foot in our house again.
The Real Tea
Here’s what I learned: Sometimes you have to be willing to burn bridges to stop people from walking all over you. Yes, it’s “just” a dog to some people. But to me, Luna represents the life I’m building for myself – independent of my family’s approval.
Uncle Mike didn’t just kick my dog. He kicked the idea that I should be grateful for any man who’ll have me. He kicked the notion that I should tolerate disrespect in the name of “family harmony.” He kicked my right to exist in my own home without being lectured about my “market value.”
So yeah, I got his ass arrested. And I’d do it again.
UPDATE (since people keep asking):
- Luna is doing amazing and has learned to avoid drunk relatives
- My relationship with my parents is slowly improving (therapy helps)
- Uncle Mike still thinks he’s the victim (shocking, I know)
- I passed the bar exam and now I’m a lawyer (the irony is not lost on me)
- No, I’m still not married, and yes, I’m still perfectly happy about it
To anyone dealing with toxic family members: You don’t owe anyone access to your life just because you share DNA. Set boundaries. Enforce them. Your peace of mind is worth more than their comfort.
Edit: Thanks for the gold, kind stranger! Luna says woof.
Edit 2: For those asking about the legal stuff – yes, animal abuse/destruction of property laws vary by state, but in most places, intentionally harming someone’s pet can result in misdemeanor charges. Know your rights!
Top Comments:
PowerUser2023: “Market value” 🤮 Your uncle sounds like a real prize
DogMom4Life: Luna tax please!! Also you’re a badass
LawyerUp_DeleteFB: As someone who works in family law, GOOD FOR YOU. So many people let family get away with abuse because “it’s family.” Nope.
Uncle_Mike_Burner: This story is fake and Maya is a spoiled brat (Editor’s note: This account was created 5 minutes ago)
